Is Joy a Choice?

Be honest, we all need a little silliness in our lives to balance out the seriousness

Or is it something that is simply a result of how we feel about our life circumstances?

My experience has been is that it’s both. Joy lives in the quality of your attention, and in saying “yes” to serendipitous circumstances.

For example, in October, Monika and I had plans to meet after an excellent sound bath experience with Nanako. I really recommend checking her out and booking yourself a session.

The first place we tried to go to was closed that day. A beautiful, traditional Japanese teahouse. Refined, cultured.

So we wandered. Carrying my sewing machine (don’t ask), we caught up as we just let our feet carry us around Jiyugaoka in Tokyo.

Until we stopped outside of the Peter Rabbit cafe.

Normally, I don’t go for overly cute things. And I’ve been in enough theme cafes in my life that I know what to expect. Heaven for hardcore fans, mediocre food and drinks for everyone else. No judgement against my dear friends who enjoy these things, but my tastes tend in other directions.

Letting Go of the Stories We Tell Ourselves

At least, that’s a story that I tell myself. I’m too cool for cute things. But something inside of me said— let’s go. Why not?

So we went in.

And it was silly and glorious. I remembered enjoying that series as a kid. It always felt so weird and British.

We laughed a lot, and also talked about death and authenticity. Who knew?

I think that sound bath with Nanako primed me to let go, to make a choice and simply exist in the moment. And that lead to more joy, and a friendship that is just a little deeper, a little more real than it was before.

So the next time you’re taking yourself just a little too seriously, why not make a choice that leads to a bit more silliness, childishness, and joy?

You’d be surprised about the impact that has on your creativity, your relationships, and your leadership skills.

Joy Helps Us Overcome the Negativity Bias

We are wired to let negative events stick more intensely than positive ones, a phenomenon known as the Negativity Bias. While this bias was once crucial for survival, in modern life, it often compels us to excessively focus on potential costs, risks, and taking everything too seriously.

This over-seriousness can:

• Cloud our decision-making.

• Narrow our lateral thinking ability.

• Impact our self-esteem.

Consequently, when an opportunity for spontaneous joy or a little silliness arises, we often shut it down, telling ourselves we're "too busy" or "too cool."

But what if choosing joy, even a momentary, childish indulgence, is one of the most effective ways to counteract this powerful cognitive bias?

3 Ways to Choose Joy and Counteract the Bias

1. Joy lives in the quality of your attention. Consciously cultivate your ability to pay attention to the positive things in your life, not just the problems that demand solving.

2. Joy is saying "yes" to the unexpected. The next time a spontaneous or slightly silly opportunity arises, challenge yourself to say “yes” and notice the immediate impact it has on your mood and perspective.

3. Joy is a conscious choice to be present. The ability to be fully present to the world around you and your inner sensations deepens all life experiences, including the joyful ones. This trains your brain to savor and learn from them more effectively.

In a world full of uncertainty and a constant stream of issues, cultivating a little joy can make the difference between a reactive decision and one that is truly innovative.

Check out how I work with clients for more guidance on how to be present, strengthen your creative thinking skills, and overcome your negativity bias when it suits.